Category Archives: personal emPOWERment

The Pareto Principle and Time Management

What is time management; but being focused on your personal and professional goals. One concept is the ‘Pareto Principle’ also called the ’80:20 rule’. This rule states 80% of your time is not managed or is unfocused and it generates only 20% of the desired managed time.Pareto Principle and Time Management

Even though the ’80:20′ ratio is a random number, this number system will put an emphasis on what is lost or gained by time management.

Time Management overview by some…

  • Scheduling appointments
  • Goal setting
  • Prioritizing
  • Step by step planning
  • things to do lists

These are the core basics that should be understood, while developing efficient personal time management skills; these core basics can also be used in a professional setting as well.

But, there is room for fine tuning these basic skills. The finer essence of each skill can provide you with an extra reserve to accomplish your prime objective.

The core basics are just the start of what you need for better time management.

Other skills are needed to continue on your journey to a better, well rounded life.

Decision making, natural abilities, such as, emotional intelligence and critical thinking are some fundamentals to personal growth.

Personal time management affects everything you do. Whether it will make a big impact on your life or hardly touch it; it counts! Everything you learn, any advice you consider, every new skill you acquire or tone, will be considered within your time management goal.

The result of good time management will equal out a balanced life style. This is the full aspect most people never understand and fall short in their efforts.

Be guided with the “Pareto Principle” and follow the rule to your time management.

Welcome your Sorrows and Face your Problems

Some say that experience is the best teacher known to man. This may be true some of the time, but is it not the hardest times of your life that make you a stronger person?Face your Problem

The truth is, when you are in a problematic stage of your life, the experiences that you get then will never leave your mind. It is also true that the most successful people have had terrible pasts that have molded them into what they are today.

That remains the secret of every successful person you will meet – try and turn even the defeats into future victories in your life.

They say that every cloud has a silver lining, and it is so true when you consider there could be a great tomorrow thanks to an ugly yesterday. Authentic happiness is something we all can work towards if we realize that the ultimate outcomes of our life lie in our own hands.

We need to simply realize that we are in control of our own destiny. We need to realize these things, and face out every problem in a healthy spirit, knowing there is happiness right behind the ugly clouds that the problem poses as.

Just as water never ceases to flow whatever you keep in its path, so must we also never cease to follow our dreams in spite of obstacles in our paths. The joy of success is after all even greater when we face hurdles and overcome them along the way.

It is true that sometimes our problems seem so big that they are all we can see, and at times like this it is all we can do to move on in life, hoping to see a ray of light soon, and that is something that does come eventually. After going through darkness, we know how to appreciate that light even more.

You achieve authentic happiness only when you stand after you have fallen a few times. Just as an infant falls a few times before he can walk, so do we all, face hurdles when we make mistakes in life. All we need to do is learn from these mistakes so we do not fall into the same pit over and over in life.

Emerson said that authentic happiness is a feeling that goes beyond the normal states of human pleasure. It is a state of mind that engulfs the whole human spirit, so you remain hopeful in spite of seemingly dire consequences not too far away.

So, get to authentic happiness, which should be your ultimate goal in life.

Welcome your sorrows and face your problems, after all they help you make a better tomorrow.

Your Main Asset in Life is YOURSELF

If you are into financial investment, you’re probably very familiar with Mr. Warren Buffet (1951–present). He is the most successful investor in the world. His investment strategies are legendary and many people seek to learn after him.Yourself

Even more respectable, he pledged to give away 99% of his wealth (more than $30 billions at the time of the pledge in 2006) to non-profit foundations, mostly to Bill Gate’s Foundation.

Mr. Buffet often travels to universities to give speeches to educate and motivate students. Here is one of his speeches to teach us the value of our body, to invest in ourselves, in education for a great future.

_____

Imagine that a Genie offers you any car in the world. The catch is that it is the only car you will ever own. What would you do?

You would read the manual ten times, change the oil twice as often as required, and you would take fastidious care so that that car remained the car of your dreams forever.

Think about what this tells you about your body.

You get only one mind and one body–the same ones you will have at 20, 40, 60, etc.

Take care of them and maximize their potential. It will be too late to take care of your body and mind (and car) later on. You can maintain them, but it is hard or impossible to undo big mistakes or negligence later on. You do not want to end up with a wreck on your hands.

Your main asset in life is yourself.

Treat yourself as a valuable asset. I often explain to students that I would be willing to pay today for a percentage of the future earnings of good students.

If you value yourself, and invest in yourself, you will be worth a great deal through out your lifetime, both to yourself and to your community.

Author: Warren Buffet

5 Tips For Time Management

time managementEverything in this world is run by time, from a puny thing like one second of time being spent on logging on your facebook to the most important speech given by the president informing the world is coming to an end by colliding with mars.

Therefore it is not at all surprising people are working hard to maximize their time by proper management.

Everyone in this world is mortal, and the average life span of humans is also showing decline, there are so many natural catastrophes happening due to the abuse we caused to the environment all the time, ever since man landed on planet earth. Maybe this is the reason why everyone is trying to do everything in a short span of time.

The fear to die, unforgiving minutes running away, decreasing our life span by every minute, hour and day etc has forced us to become multi taskers.

You should not cause panic to yourself by thinking that you are losing time, if you do proper time management you can get the benefit of every nanosecond that is passing by without ever repenting about it. If we know how to make use of whatever time we have got in this world we will be the most blessed people on earth.

Some experts say, we spend 20% time and get 80 % rewards with the use of time and conversely we may spend 80% of time and get only 20% of rewards if we do not know the effective time management. Therefore we should stick to engaging in such kind of activities by utilizing 20 % time and getting 80% rewards and not do activities where we spend 80% time and get only 20% rewards.

We may not reap all the benefits from every single activity that we do, we should try at least to get the most of what we do and get good value of time .We should not get tempted by greed, and try to do everything in a single span of time to reap greater benefits and rewards. This is only gamble and no rewards will come rushing if we do so. Therefore proper time management is the key to greater benefits

Following are few tips that might be helpful to you for your time management;

Tip 1: Say No when Necessary:

Many people take too much of work and are unable to handle in the given span of time .Due to the overload of work, the get burdened and instead of enjoying their work the y are completing it only because it has to be done. In times like these when you have no time for yourself and how can you please anyone else by doing their work. When you get in similar situation, learn to say no when it is necessary for you .You can say no very politely without showing any signs of you not wanting to do the work but are unable to do because of the overload. Always take as much as you can do. Learn to calculate properly, it will help you in the long run.

Tip 2: Prioritizing:

List down all the work you have to do and place them in the order, the most important ones being on the top and least at the last of the list. This will save you lot of time.

Tip 3: Evaluation of tasks:

Most of us see our mails, read through them then keep them for a later date to act. For instance, if you receive some kind of questionnaire from somewhere, you would automatically tend to keep it for a later date to fill. This is a simple waste of time. When you refer this questionnaire later, you may have to read through again to get familiar with the whole thing all over again, again you tend to waste your time here. Therefore, whenever possible just finish your task then and there only, keeping it for later date means only leaving room for time wastage.

Tip 4: Delegate:

When some things that are to be done do not need your personal attention, then get them done by someone else. Therefore delegate. Also do not take unnecessary work which other people want to delegate to you .Do not misunderstand this tip. Delegating your work to others does not mean in any case that the work you are supposed to do should be given to others and also you should not help other. You can do all this only when you have finished your important works you were supposed to do.

Tip 5: Follow a schedule:

Give appropriate time for each task that you are to do.Truely speaking you can neither say you have no time or you are too busy to do the tasks you are supposed to do. List down your important things on top which are to be done. Stick to your schedule religiously. Do what is important and needs to be done. If you ever feel that you are burdened with work, sit cool and assess the situation. You can tackle anything and everything with proper time management.

Time = life; therefore, waste your time and waste of your life, or master your time and master your life. ~Alan Lakein

A Positive Attitude and Confidence Brings SUCCESS

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” Winston Churchill.

Positive attitude is a strong link that connects with confidence and performance. Think of a stage performer who has stage fright.

Either and positive or a negative thought can make or break what happens on that stage. How do we keep our state of mind focused, mentally alert and tuned to the positive, optimistic side of things.confidence

We do not spend a lot of time thinking about it, until we see the extremes at work in our lives and relationships, personally and professionally, either positive or negative. Hugh Downs once quipped equally eloquently that a happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

So what are we to make of this all?

Positive attitude, thoughts, actions, beliefs, learned behavior, genetics, predispositions, it is all a state of mind, mind over matter and easy to do, most wisdom and thought out there currently tote. When it comes to the practicalities thought insights remains sparse and the battle is ongoing.

The jury is out in most cases on how exactly this mind-body-soul type connection actually works, secrets, laws of attractions, power of positive thought, there certainly are numerous musing available on the topic.

Just try thinking at the thoughts you had in the last couple of minutes as you were starting to read this blog, what were your thoughts? What were you saying to yourself? Were your thoughts positive or negative?

See, most will find it strange that anyone should ask, they never really thought about it much and we are all similarly unawares of all this inquiry, self-talk, questioning, critique that goes on inside our minds!

SO everyone’s advice of making a conscious effort to think with an optimistic attitude and anticipate positive outcomes seems more of a insurmountable task as we will have thousands of thoughts literally every day, hour, minute, second and to deem the either, revise them to overwhelmingly positive ones at that seems almost impossible to undertake and effectively do.

What Can It Do For You?

Once and for all, you can change negative self-fulfilling prophesies and negative self-talk, setting yourself up to fail. You can actively, deliberately do a 180 degree turn and start thinking in a positive manner about yourself and your life, your future. You can be happy and successful, experience life to its fullest. Actively make better, more positive choices, choose your process and outcome and be more in control, not a victim of circumstance.

Happiness over sadness, smiles over tears, do not deny yourself emotions and upset, just put a different spin and light (perspective) on it and you will see life, outlook, prospects, mood change.

Find the silver lining in every dark cloud and you will start seeing things you never would have otherwise. Be, get and stay optimistic and positive despite what might be challenging and getting you under right this very minute.

Take a longer view, futuristic and forward-focused. Be good humored, patient and look for what life and tomorrow has to offer for you. Dismiss worries and stress, negative thinking and ban worry from your life. Ensure that you surround you with others who are positive also, be inspiring, affirm to yourself happiness, health, powerful positive mantras that motivate and let you reach higher, believe in yourself, embrace potential, promise and opportunity. That is the nature and scope of a positive attitude!

Dare to speak into reality what you wish for to be, master your thinking and wayward mind, concentrate, focus and reflect on things more often, at every opportunity and you might surprised how different things might be in the morning!

The benefits of a positive attitude abound, stretching deep, reaching high, far and wide, for a variety of things in life. There are many faces, guises and ways that it will manifest itself in both your personal and professional life.

If you have positive attitude you and others will recognize:

– An innate and undeniable ability to inspire and motivate self and others.

– Confidence and self-belief

– Goal achievement

– Happy and energetic, more life-force, driven and determined, more stamina, endurance and perseverance, greater inner power and strength.

– Success faster, readily, easily, without much hassle – seemingly seamless and almost effortless, by default

– Less hurdles, obstacles and difficulty to overcome on life’s path

– Overcoming trouble and problems easily, finding solutions quickly, almost on demand

– More open-minded and welcoming

– Gaining respect for self, by others

– Positive attitude believes you can, say yes, negative attitude just the opposite

So live LIFE positively and to the fullest with lots of confidence!

Practical Tips for SUCCESS

Here are some great ways to practically get, be and keep a positive attitude and what it can do for you in your life and future:Success

  • Accept yourself and share with other thoughts and actions, borne of deep inner peace and tranquility, self-confidence and positive attitude – see the day, lives and future change right before your eyes.
  • Avoid all forms of negative judgmental self critique, back talk, self-chatter that is self defeating(what some call our inner critic or conscience).
  • Communication and the ability to express what you want, say, think, feel is paramount. If you are coming from a point of a positive attitude you will be best served coming across as confident, credible, reliable, etc.
  • Here are some more wise words from Carl Jung: “Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”
  • Make precious moments count and collect memories that last a lifetime. Do not bear burdens from the past, reconcile and ask/grant forgiveness, no grudges, no regrets, banning negativity from your life, can have far-reaching effects and impact on your health and even longevity. You are one functioning whole and letting go is the only way to embrace what is to come.
  • Take care or the small, sentimental, significant things and people in and around your life,doing the things you enjoy.
  • Make and keep things positive. Make a point of it to surround yourself with upbeat and similarly positive energy and individuals. See the pleasure in the little and simple things.
  • Lend a helping hand and believe in human goodness once again.
  • Do a favor for someone else, pay it forward, run and errand for someone, volunteer or entertain an elderly person by reading their favorite book or poetry, serve your community of join a special interest group working with teens, troubled youngsters, food-bank etc.
  • Find your inner self and reflect more on your peace, contribution and sharing that you have to give.
  • Think of yourself as achieving something great in life – having purpose and meaning, direction to your life and existence.
  • Expect better and the most from and for yourself. Learn from both success and failure to succeed, which is just another way of learning more, new things, even if only what not to do (again). Keep the hope alive…
  • To love and be loved is a very real thing, without which our lives will be characterized by distrust, mistrust, fear, depression, guilt, anger, un-forgiveness, and every negative thought and emotion imaginable. Make disconnection reconnection and see the humor, fun side to life ever so often.
  • Boost your confidence and be a lifelong learner, keeping your faculties sharp as a tack.
  • Involve and engage self and others in mental activities, gaming, social networks, to improve confidence levels and provide positive attitude derivative coping mechanisms. Nutrition, exercise, wellness, mood and attitude go hand in hand.

Take Time to Explore YOU!

We always heard statements or someone telling us “if you want it done right, then get busy and do it yourself”. Think carefully about this statement, since the notions are facts that all of us must consider.

youI believe we all got skills, unique talents and answers within us that will guide or lead us to the path of success. Success however confuses people, since all of us have something different to offer the prompts us to in different directions.

Therefore, some people find it harder than others to find success.

Why?

Simply because they are in someone else’s shoes. Really, it only takes us to get out of someone else’s shoes and fill in our own shoes that fit us well.

Very few people will agree that it is easy to achieve success. Most people sit around saying, success only happens to the lucky ones. This is true for them, simply because they keep this negative thinking, which hinders them from their own success.

Honestly, success is harder because most people fail to see how to get their success. They often rely on others to take them to the highway to success. The truth is finding your success takes you. If you look inside you and explore your mind, you will feel amazed at the answers you will find that you can use as to self-reliance and to make constructive changes.

Take time to explore you.

Learn now how to get on the highway that guides you to success by exploring your inner strengths, mind, etcetera.

When you take time to explore your mind, it not only builds your awareness it also guides you to discovery. You start to learn from your experiences, learning, past, and other aspects of your life. You begin to put those influences that misguide you behind you and start to rely on you to find answers and get on your road to success.

The key is taking it slow.

Rather than expect too much from you, or expect a miracle overnight you learn to pace it and discover inner truths and answers.  The fact is we were created with innate abilities and even knowledge. We learn by observing our nature, which helps us to see what we must do to live happier, and to achieve our own success.

By exploring nature and its entirety, you will find that what you must do is learn to accept that you were created with an innate spirit that directs you straight to your creator. Once you start to see this, you will eat healthier.

What does this have to do with self-reliance, constructive changes and success? It has everything to do with it, since if your body is eating unhealthy, your mind will be affected. When your mind is affected, you cannot think straight.

Get on your road now by exploring your future, history and your mind. By exploring your mind alone you will build awareness, skills, and clear up clutter, such as fear, doubts, etc, which helps you, find your guide that leads you to success. Address reinforcements to make constructive changes

Take time to explore YOU!

“Failure” equals “Value”

Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes. Genuine ignorance is profitable because it is likely to be accompanied by humility, curiosity, and open-mindedness; whereas ability to repeat catch-phrases, cant terms, familiar propositions, gives the conceit of learning and coats the mind with varnish waterproof to new ideas. -John Dewey

I have failed not just once but quite a number of times in my different ventures in life like businesses and relationship.

The feeling that you want to do great in the business you started and hoping that it will bring you success. Even if you gave all you got but in the end you… failed.

The feeling that you know all the best ways to make it work and believing that you can make it happen. Even if you gave all your effort but at one moment you realized… this is not what you expect it to be.

Have you ever felt so scared of making a mistake or failing again that you decide not to do what you wanted to do?

failure quotesIf the formula for success is to fail more why we are so scared of failing?

So many of us miss out on so many great opportunities, because we’re scared of the things that might go wrong. We let the fear of failure hold us back.

Fear of failure that can keep us from achieving our dreams. The fear of failure is perhaps the strongest force holding us below our potential. It has a crippling effect, but it doesn’t have to remain that way. It can only have this effect if we let it.

If you read a story about a successful person or a successful company I guarantee there will have been multiple failures.

More often than not, it’s our failures that lead us to our successes.

Do not be afraid to fail because some of the vital lessons of success cannot be taught. They can only be experienced. Even if you find someone to teach you, it may not make much meaning to you until you are in the situation and it will be clear to you.

If you are not afraid to fail, you will be able to get anything especially leveraging on your experience in failure!

Look at “fear” or “failure” as “value” instead.

Keep moving, fail and move on to success!

The Abundance YOU Deserve

YOU are an important and exceptional human being, unique in the entire world.  You are SPECIAL.

YOU deserve an immense share of everything that is in the universe. You are MAGNIFICENT.

YOU do deserve abundant prosperity and it is your birthright to enjoy lavish luxury and rampant good fortune. You are WEALTHY.

YOU are worthy as much of all from this never ending abundance that surrounds you as you can create and accept for yourself. YOU are RICH.

YOU do deserve to share in all the wonders and splendour of abundant prosperity… YES YOU DO!

Whenever you are not experiencing something that you want, this is because on an inner conscious level you are not allowing yourself to accept it. Perhaps deep down you feel that you do not deserve it, but you do.

Know and understand that you are worthy of everything sensational, extraordinary and magnificent that ever occurs in existence.

Start by developing the mindset that you do deserve an immense super-abundance of all things wonderful throughout each area of life.

YOU do deserve an abundance of JOY.

YOU do deserve an abundance of vibrant HEALTH.

YOU do deserve an abundance of WISDOM.

YOU do deserve an abundance of LOVE.

YOU do deserve an abundance of MONEY.

YOU do deserve an abundance of SUCCESS.

Life is full, rich and rewarding. You have bounty of bliss to discover and many experiences to behold.

So choose to attract the abundance riches of what you deserve by creating YOURSELF a prosperity of consciousness and decide to develop it NOW.

Everything you need you already have. You are complete right now, you are whole, total person, not an apprentice person on the way to someplace else. Your completeness must be understood by you and experienced in your thoughts as your own personal reality.” ~Wayne Dyer

Ten Ways To Change Your Life TODAY!

When it comes to changing your life, it can seem like it will take years before you actually make substantial changes. You might feel like giving up before you even get started. What you need is a way to kick start the changes that you want to make in your life – and here are ten ways to get started today.

#1 Change Your Routine

One of the simplest ways to start improving and changing your life is to change something that you’ve always done. And it doesn’t have to even be related to the goal that you have in mind. When you want to make changes in your life, you want to get the ball rolling somehow. To get that momentum going, try changing small things in your life today.

For example, have you ever driven to work and not remembered how you’ve gotten there? Not only is this a scary notion, but it also can be a great lesson in being aware of your surroundings and how they’re getting in the way of your self-improvement.

Here are some simple ways to change up your routine today:

  •  Take a new route to work
  •  Eat a meal during a different time of day (i.e. eat breakfast at dinnertime)
  • Change the order of your exercise routine
  • Get up earlier or later than you normally do
  • Do different chores around the house or ignore chores that you always do

The point of this exercise is to realize that while we might feel comfortable in our lives, it’s that comfort and that ‘settling’ that might be getting in the way of the changes that we want to make.

Start the changes right now by changing other, not-as-important parts of your life. You may be surprised at how different the world looks and much more likely you are to believe that bigger changes are indeed possible.

#2 Look in your closet

In Feng Shui decorating principles, when you use certain colors and positions of furniture in
your house, you can affect greater changes in your life. Taking this idea a step further, when you want to change something about your life for the better, doesn’t it make sense to start changing your surroundings?

A simple way to do this (without spending your money redecorating your house) is to simply change your appearance for a day.

You can do this by simply getting out of your clothing rut and trying something that is completely unlike you. For example, if you wear black all the time, try wearing a bright and boisterous color. If you’re someone that likes to wear colorful outfits, try something more toned down.

The point is to approach your outfit as you would your life – by changing it.

Your outward appearance can make your feel more confident in yourself because you know that you look as good as you feel or at least, as you want to feel. And that confidence will show up in your actions as well as your interactions with others.

People can’t help but respond to change. When others notice that you are holding your head differently, they will begin to respond in kind. This is why you will hear the term, ‘power suit’ quite often. By putting on a costume of sorts, you can create a new you – a more powerful you.

If you feel that you don’t have anything in your closet to wear that will help you feel differently, it’s time to start thinking about new ways of wearing certain pieces of clothing together. Maybe you can simply wear a crazy pair of socks under your classic business suit. Or perhaps you can choose larger earrings or a silly necktie.

Whatever makes you feel differently about yourself, try to incorporate that into the way that you’re dressing yourself today.

Here are some other ideas:

  • Wear a skirt instead of pants (ladies, of course)
  • Try a different shirt with a suit – one that you’ve never paired together before
  • Wear a scarf to accessorize
  • Wear a different piece of jewelry

Go to the back of your closet to see what you can find – it just might change your life.

#3 Don’t lie

What would your day be like if you didn’t lie about anything? Think about it for a moment. We all seem to lie about something during out day, even if we don’t realize it. When our food comes at a restaurant, we might say that there’s nothing else that we want, even if the wrong order comes out. Or when we’re heading to a movie, we might say to our friend or partner that we really don’t care what show we’re going to, even if there’s one that we really want to see.

Why do we do this? Because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
However, in most cases of lying, what we’re really doing is not being truthful with ourselves and our needs. By considering what someone else thinks, we can place the responsibility for our happiness on someone else’s choice – and one that typically doesn’t match our own preferences.

On the other hand, when we lie, we’re also not taking responsibility for our own actions and their consequences. When we lie to our boss about a project or the bill collector, we’re avoiding the issue at hand – and now allowing ourselves to learn from the mistake.

To change your life, you need to stop lying to yourself and everyone around you. This isn’t to say that it won’t be a tricky thing, but it will be something that will dramatically change the way that you approach your life.

Not lying for one day will make you slow down and really think about everything you’re about to say and why you’re saying it. In doing so, this will create an opportunity for you to learn more about the way you think and where you might need to make changes in that thinking.

For example, when you stop lying about whether or not you can talk to someone on the phone, you might find that people that you really don’t care to talk to can be asked to call back at another time, leaving you time and energy to do the things that you really want to do.

And that creates the space for you make the changes that you need to make.
Some call it ‘authenticity’ while others call it being an honest person; in any case, trying to be true to your self and to others is a simple way to instigate a new way of living.

#4 Think like an optimist

Many experts will tell you that when you change the way you look at things, you will change your life – and it’s true. If you’re sitting around expecting the worst of things, you’ll be certain to find the worst of things. You’ll find all of your mistakes along the way to your goals. You’ll notice all of the problems with your plan. And then you’ll stop trying because you’ve noticed that everything is going wrong.

This is where a lot of people fumble on the way to their happiness and the changes that they want to make. By trying so hard to recognize the bad things in their life, they forget about those things that are working well.

For just one day, try to see your life through the eyes of an optimist – a complete optimist. This might seem silly at first, but what you’re doing is bringing another perspective, an objective perspective into your view of the world.

Optimists look at the world as though it only has good things to offer and in that thinking, they see the opportunities for learning and growth, rather than the obstacles in their way. Instead of getting upset about the car that cut them off in traffic, they hope that there wasn’t an emergency that caused the driver to need to go so fast.

Optimism takes practice. What you might want to do is start thinking about your life as though it were the life of a good friend that you have. When you sense that something is wrong in your day, try to change your thinking to being more positive. For example, when your friend loses his or her job, you don’t tell her that it was because they were the worst employee (though you might tell yourself this), you tell them that it wasn’t their fault and that there must have been another reason.

When you start treating yourself and your life the way that you would treat a good friend, you start to see possibility in life, rather than problems.

An optimist is simply someone that strives to look for the good in everything. Just for today, you can try to do the same. Is it a realistic way to be every day? Who knows? But what you are doing is allowing your life to be as wonderful as you want it to be, and maybe as wonderful as it already is. You just weren’t looking for it.

#5 Don’t have any expectations

How many times have you been disappointed? Probably hundreds of times, right? However, if you think back to your times of pain and loss, many of these instances were the direct result of having some goal in mind that wasn’t reached or some expectation that wasn’t met.

What if you gave up your expectations for a day? For one day, what if you said that you don’t really care about what happens?

When you start to attach how you feel to something that’s out of your control, you are setting yourself up for feeling badly. There’s nothing wrong with having goals and wanting certain things, but when you start relying on the outcome to derive any happiness from it, you can actually be stifling change and growth in your life.

In truth, expectations are just wishes and hopes. There’s nothing wrong with them, but many of these same thoughts are based on a number of factors that you can not control – even if you try to.

For example, you can’t control how someone reacts to something that you do or say. People are autonomous and will respond in any way that they see fit. When we start to attach our personal feelings on how someone else reacts, we are setting ourselves up for feeling bad about our lives and our selves.

The point of eliminating expectations is to start focusing on what’s happening right now – what  you can control and what you can’t. If you’re in a bad situation at work and your boss is yelling at you, you can’t control that. However, you can control how good of a job you do – though your boss might still yell at you anyways.

Just for today, try to remember that all that you have in your life is what is right in front of you. Step back and recognize that true change can only come when you stop making it the end all, be all of your existence. If you’re trying to lose weight, for example, all you can do right now is eat better right now. You can’t expect that the meal that you eat today will affect you weight loss in the future.

Nor can you expect that the one chocolate bar that you have today will ruin your chances of weight loss.

Try to understand that expectations to which you attach your self-worth and self-esteem are generally not worth meeting. It’s not about not setting goals for yourself, it’s about not making the bar so terribly high.

#6 Make a mistake

Too often, you can start to believe that making changes in your life means that you have to be perfect. However, logically, you know that no one is perfect, even if they seem to be.
Perfection has become a burden that we have placed on ourselves – even though it’s not
realistic.

We all make mistakes along the way to our dreams, so why not give ourselves permission to get things wrong once in a while?

Just for a day, try to remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, try to make one mistake during the day and see what happens. Does the world come tumbling down? Do people hate you for not being perfect? Probably not.

Giving yourself a break is a great way to start changing your life. You’re acknowledging that things aren’t always going to head in the exact right direction, but that you will make it there – even if there are some shortcuts along the way.

When you start to relieve yourself of being perfect, you can begin to take chances and take
steps toward the changes that you want to make because you’re not held back by the fear that you might be wrong. Being wrong is okay. You actually need the lesson of getting something wrong once in a while – that’s how you’ll learn what’s right for you.

Think of how much lighter you will feel once you realize that people really aren’t watching your every move, or waiting for you to fail – you’re the only one that’s doing that to your self. Instead, allow yourself to falter, to tumble, and even to fall once in a while.

The real lesson in this tip to change your life is that you have to also learn how to not berate yourself each time you do make a mistake. Instead, try to look at your issues as learning experiences. When you make a mistake, think about what happened and how you might be able to avoid that problem in the future. It’s not about creating perfection, but it is about learning how to do better for your self.

You’re going to make mistakes as you begin to change your life or parts of your life, but when you start to recognize that it’s not a bad thing, you can start moving past problems more quickly and keep on, keeping on.

#7 Talk to a stranger

Although the world is more connected than ever was before – with the inventions of the Internet and cellular phones – it seems that we’ve become more disconnected. We seem to forget that we aren’t the only ones that walk down out streets or have problems. And this might be hindering your ability to change your life.

The truth of the matter is that we aren’t alone, though we want to believe that we are. And once we realize that we do have others around us that understand our dissatisfaction with our lives, we can start to make the necessary changes in our own.

Reaching out to people is problematic, however, because it’s just not necessary anymore. We can e-mail people or call them on the phone, but it’s the real life connections that will truly remind us of the place of others in our lives.

There are a number of ways to reestablish this connection with the world:

  • Talk to the cashier at the coffee shop
  •  Call a friend
  • Meet up with your partner outside of the house
  • Go for a walk outside

These simple ideas can help create the realization that you’re not alone in your want to change the way that you live. In fact, establishing a connection with someone with similar goals can help you more easily achieve your own.

If this isn’t possible though, at least be sure to reach out and talk to someone once during your day. Make eye contact with them and genuinely care about them – if only for thirty seconds. The point is to reach out beyond your self in order to find that other perspective.

For example, the cashier at your local grocery store that isn’t being friendly might be having a horrible time in their lives. And while you used to interpret this rudeness as a slight to you, perhaps taking the time to ask about their day will be the impetus that they need to change their situation.

And in doing so, you can help to recognize where you are in the world, how you can continue to make changes to affect your self as well as others.

#8 Quit your job

You don’t actually need to quit your job in order to change your life, but if you’re not happy about the job that you have, what are you still doing there? The object of this tip is to help your recognize things that you are settling for instead of making room for the things that you’ll really enjoy having in your life.

Maybe it’s not that you need to quit your job, but it’s that you need to quit your attachment to it. Many of us believe that when we do a good job at work, we’re good people who are successful and deserve to be happy. But when our jobs don’t satisfy us, we believe that we don’t deserve to be happy.

It is in this cycle, or others like it, that we begin to feel like less of a person that can make
changes in our life. So, to stop this cycle, we need to recognize that we are not what we do or what we accomplish.

In effect, you will want to quit the power that your job has over you.
But how to do this? To quit the power that your job has over you, you will want to consider the following pieces of advice:

  • Try not to judge yourself by what you can accomplish
  • Create a to do list, but make priorities
  • Set the bar lower
  • Recognize that what you need from the job and what your boss needs from the job are completely different
  • Try to establish a consistent work schedule
  • Leave work at work
  • Realize that work is just work

While that sounds like a lot of platitudes, one of the biggest lessons in the bunch is the idea that work is just work. It can help for you to realize that while something at work might seem like a major concern right now, chances are likely that in six months from now, it won’t seem like such a big deal.

Just for today, try to think about your job as though it was the last day that you were working.

How does that feel?

You don’t have to quit your job to quit the hold that it exerts upon you; but if you find that you can’t seem to do this on your own, maybe it is time to at least look at the classified ads for a better place for you.

#9 Find an old hobby

Remember when you were a kid and you wanted to be a basketball player? You went to the garage and started to bounce a basketball up and down. You didn’t think about how good you really were at it; you just wanted to do it because it made you happy.

When you want to make bigger changes in your life, you will want to find a way to distract
yourself from thinking negative thoughts. And this is why often times, experts will recommend that you pick up a hobby to fill your mind when you’re feeling a little less than motivated to change.

There are plenty of things that you can do:

  • Knitting
  • Sports
  • Scrap booking
  • Weights
  • Crafts
  • Etc.

These can all help you create a different focus for your mind when you’re considering change or in the midst of making major changes in your life. Some experts have also noted that when you are trying to break a habit, you will need to fill that time with something else, or else that habit
can easily return.

For example, smokers that are trying to quit often gain weight because they replace their
cigarettes with food. But smokers that turn to exercise or other hobbies often do not gain weight as they are replacing the ‘bad’ habit with a good one.

What you may want to do just for today is replace the thing that you want to change with
something else. If you’re looking to change your diet to vegetarian, try not eating meat for a day. If you’re thinking about going back to school, try reading a book that might be associated with your course of study.

When you start to change the way that you are living your current life, you will start to see new ideas and ways that you can change your life – and it won’t seem as scary.

#10 Thank someone that you love

When we’re changing ourselves, we forget how often others have stood by us when we weren’t in the best of places in our lives. Instead of taking this support system for granted, today is a great time to thank the people that you love.

While it sounds a little corny, just going around to people and thanking them for their support and their understanding can start to solidify the changes that you want to make. You are, in a sense, creating a new life by apologizing for the old life and moving forward.

But when you start to thank others for supporting you, you are also gathering their support for the change that lay ahead. You are readying yourself as well as them for a new and improved you – one that realizes that mistakes were made in the past, but wants to move forward. Support is something that we all need, even if we are focused on making changes on our own.

The truth is that we aren’t always going to be as strong as we need to be. There will be days when we will need someone to help us change our perspective or approach things differently.

When you’re trying to change the way that you live or the things that you do, you need all the support that you can get. Starting off by simply thanking people for what they’ve already done for you is something that doesn’t take any time, and makes everyone feel good about the future.

The idea of change is one that we are frightened of. It signifies moving away from what has
‘worked’ for us in the past and moving towards something unfamiliar. However, when you stop to just make smaller changes in your daily life, you can start the process more easily. Change doesn’t have to be startling and unnerving; it can be as simple as doing something different than you would have before: reading a new book or driving a new route to work.

However, in these smaller changes, you can find the strength for the bigger changes.

If you can start with the little parts of yourself that you thought didn’t matter, just imagine what you can do with the rest of your dreams and goals.